I want to indulge
(black as night, sweet as sin)
In the harsh, grey, blue, off-white city
Spreading eagle-winged arms
Falling, photographic,
Into the sky, into the world.

It must be nice, though
Burrow-safe, going to bed when told,
Lying between crisp, clean, warm sheets
Waking up to an alarm clock, breakfast
A school and homework to hand in
Coming home.

What they   wouldn’t give
To trade swords, grenades, guns, pens,
Business suits or Kevlar vests,
Bare, dusty feet or sewer-water,
Broken bones, broken hearts, and a dash of
Chipped nail polish or cheap cologne.

Trade it all in, give it all away
For a warm-carpeted house,
Fresh laundry and weekend mornings
Doing what you’re told and doing what you’re asked
Knowing that your Someday is not so bleak,
Has not yet come.

So I never want to grow up, I say,
While growing, while taking each step away,
Half-an-inch under concrete and broken wire,
Dreaming. Thinking. Speaking what we have no right to believe,
Acting what we’ll never (always) know.
Neither do you.

I want to fly. Instead, we crawl.
I want to run. Instead, I stand in line.

Everyone else must be very brave.
Someday, I will, too.